im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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