Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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