it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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