A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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