redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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