Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
