She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
