sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I need a beard to bite.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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