i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
