But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
