How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize