Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
