She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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