Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
