quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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