I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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