GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
