Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
