I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
