Where did you get a picture of my penis
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
