I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize