I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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