Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
