He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
