I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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