I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
