The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
