You just made me feel so damn special
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
