he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
