I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
