Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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