Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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