come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Never underestimate the power of titties
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
