Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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