there was a trapeze. enough said
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
