So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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