I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
