Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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