He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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