we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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