Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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