We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
