You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
