Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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