Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
