his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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