i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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