is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
