This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You ruined the universe
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
