Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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