Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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