It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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