Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize