i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
