My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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