Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
should my penis look like a turkey
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
