JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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