Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
