i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize