i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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