I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
