Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
