This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
