I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
