Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
