At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
cat food counts as protein by the way
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
